The Only Way Past It Is Through It

     One of my all time favorite movies is the Wizard of Oz (yes, I know it's weird. lol). There is a scene in the movie where Dorothy, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man have to walk through the dark forest. There is absolutely no other way to the Emerald City. The only way past it is through it, and facing the fear is Dorothy's only chance of getting home.
     Life has been a little bit like that lately....especially the past few days. There has been a battle of the wills (for the record, I won. :), and some tough love, and it hasn't been pretty. It's interesting how the will to give up can be every bit as strong as the will to live, and how quickly one can forget all the wonderful things and people to live for.
     Part of our journey the past couple of days was to basically push Grot's brain to the limit to see if it could hold it's own. And it did...for awhile. As his brain fought to maintain a normal environment, he battled severe headache, light and noise sensitivity and nausea, and it grew worse throughout the day yesterday. This pain and discomfort left him feeling hopeless, and he just wanted relief. Additionally, there are other things going on in his body as an effect of the brain injury itself and all the medications he is on, and these things have only contributed to the feeling of just wanting to throw in the towel. Yesterday was pretty much his breaking point...so we had to lock horns. I am a "choose your battles" kind of person, but when I choose one, I intend to win. haha.  By the end of the evening, he had eaten a little bit, was feeling a little better, and his spirits were improved. But, as I said before, the brain held it's own for as long as it could. In the middle of the night, we had a small setback. The fluid began to build up in his brain again and he required a CT scan. The end result was that they could not continue to push him, so we have started over, which means at least another week in the neuro ICU before we try again.
     Believe it or not, he is in much better spirits today, in spite of this development. A large part of this is because the pressure is down in his noggin and he has less pain. He talks frequently of wanting to be out of here in time for the basketball game this weekend, but realistically we know it's not possible. While we are disappointed, we know that this is the journey God has put us on, and the only way past all of this is through it. There are simply no short cuts, and it is one day and one step at a time. So, we are locking arms, and traveling this yellow brick road, through the dark forest, despite the lions, tigers and bears (oh my!). We are hoping and praying that we can celebrate Christmas at home, but we also know that the holidays may be a little different this year and Christmas may have to come to us. We are asking you to continue to pray for Grot and for our family. Your prayers, cards, calls and messages are keeping our spirits alive and hope in our hearts!